http://www.lovethesnark.com

Thanks! Hope you like the new name and address!

[ l a b e l s ] by kHo “Eli…’ Eli stepped past Chas into the apartment, hugging his arms to his chest. “Ari and Uzi, they're at practice right,’ he said softly, looking at Chas expectantly. Chas shut the door, turning around and leaning on it. “Yeah.’ “I thought so,’ Eli said, nodding and stepping forward. “I just wanted to come by and…’ Chas shrunk back into the door, looking warily at Eli. “What are you doing here?’ “That's what I was going to say,’ Eli said with a slight smile. “I just wanted to come by and say that… um… we don't have to make a thing out of it, Chas.’ Chas frowned, burrowing his back into the door in an attempt to get as far away from Eli as he could. “Make a thing out of what? What thing?’ “This,’ Eli said, gesturing between himself and Chas. “We don't need to label it as anything… we don't need to put parameters on it, or… make any declarations.’ Chas leaned against the door, crossing his arms. “Declarations…’ “Yeah,’ Eli said, shifting on his feet, not meeting Chas' eyes. “You know, we don't need to declare that it was a mistake… it's just something that happened.’ “Okay,’ Chas said, looking at his watch and looking back up at Eli. “What are you talking about?’ Reaching up to run his fingers through his hair, Eli sighed heavily and leaned against the wall. “You're not doing this are you,’ he asked, his voice already sounding defeated. “You're not going to pretend this didn't happen, are you? Cause it happened, and I'm just saying we don't need to label it, but… it's not fair if you don't even acknowledge…’ “I acknowledge it,’ Chas hissed, his eyes darting past Eli to the den. “I don't feel comfortable talking about this in my home, Eli.’ Eli frowned, turning around and following Chas' gaze, not seeing anything. “Chas, what are you talking about? No one's here.’ Chas shrugged. “I know, I just… I don't feel comfortable…’ Eli laughed slightly, reaching out to touch Chas cheek before letting his hand fall to his side. “When ever *are* you comfortable?’ Chas let his head fall back against the door, closing his eyes. “Last night,’ he said softly. “Last night I was comfortable.’ Eli ventured a step forward, close enough to feel Chas' body heat. “With me?’ Chas nodded, swallowing with difficulty. Keeping his eyes closed he tightened his grips on his biceps, holding himself closed. “Yes,’ he managed to say through clenched teeth. “Okay,’ Eli said, placing his hands on Chas' arms over his hands. “So, that's what I'm saying.’ “You should go,’ Chas said softly, his eyes still closed and his head leaning against the door, his neck exposed and his adam's apple bobbing with each word. “The kids will be home…’ “After six,’ Eli said softly, running his hands up Chas' arms and back down. “It's 3, Chas.’ Chas took a deep breath, letting it out slowly through his nose as Eli continued to lightly run his hands up and down his crossed arms. “How would you know?’ “You told me yesterday,’ Eli answered, leaning closer, covering Chas' body with his. “Open your eyes,’ he said softly. “Uhuh,’ Chas answered, shaking his head no. Eli laughed, bringing his hands up to cup Chas face. “Chas… open your eyes.’ “I can't,’ Chas said in a whispered breath. Eli leaned forward and kissed Chas on his neck, whispering in his ear. “Yes you can…’ “Eli, you should go,’ Chas said desperately, trying to shrink further away from him but having nowhere to go. “I can't do this.’ “I felt something with you, Chas,’ Eli said, leaning his forehead to his and closing his eyes. “I think you did too.’ “Eli, please…’ “Tell me you didn't, and I'll go.’ “I can't…’ Eli smiled. “Why not?’ “Because you're right,’ Chas said, opening his eyes and looking at Eli, shifting slightly to get his hands free. Reaching up a hand he brushed Eli's hair back, his eyes trailing over his angular face. “But it's too complicated Eli.’ “It doesn't have to be,’ Eli whispered, opening his eyes and meeting Chas', pulling his head back to get a better look into them. “It doesn't have to be complicated… we're two adults, Chas. It doesn't have to be complicated, it can just be something we did…’ He let his hand fall from Chas neck and travel down his chest, swallowing slowly. “Something we do…’ Chas heaved a sigh, grabbing Eli's hand as it ran back up his chest and holding it in place. “I don't work like that, Eli. I can't do half way. I'm not good at it.’ Eli nodded, chewing on his lip. “I know you're not… that's what made it so good.’ Chas' eyes darkened and glazed slightly, but he continued to shake his head. “So, we can't because it's too…’ Eli nodded, licking his lips. “You're right… it's too complicated… it's full of reasons why it's not a good idea,’ he said, leaning forward until his lips were centimeters away from Chas. “But it feels right, Chas,’ he whispered. “You can't deny that.’ “It feels more than right,’ Chas said, his hand trailing down Eli's cheek to his lips. “It feels…’ “It feels like there aren't any words that fit the description,’ Eli said, smiling and laughing slightly. “And I'm a writer.’ Chas laughed, pulling on Eli's shirt just a little, wrapping an arm around his waist and holding him closer to him. “Yeah.’ “And I make you laugh, Chas,’ Eli said, dipping his head to meet Chas' eyes. “I make you laugh, and you need that.’ Chas laughed again, shaking his head. “Royal used to say that.’ “Oh,’ Eli said, frowning. “I'm sorry…’ “No,’ Chas said, his fingers twisting in Eli's shirt, finding that the nervous habit was wreaking havoc in the form of wrinkles in Eli's lose white button up. “He was right… and so are you.’ “I like that I can make you laugh,’ Eli said, running his fingers through Chas' short curly hair, smiling down at him. “I love your laugh… and maybe that's because I get to hear it so rarely, but it's like when you laugh it fills me with hope. Like maybe even when things are shit, maybe there's hope.’ Chas quirked an amused eyebrow up. “Are you saying I'm a charity case?’ Eli shook his head. “No, it's purely selfish. You have a beautiful laugh, it makes me feel good to hear it.’ “You know Eli,’ Chas said with a smile. “You talk like you write, and sometimes your writing is a little too saccharine for me.’ Eli laughed, nodding. “I know… but I mean that.’ “I know you do.’ “So,’ Eli said, raising an eyebrow at him. “What now?’ Chas looked at him, chewing on his lip. He reached up to Eli's neck and pulled him forward, kissing him lightly. Before the kiss could deepen he pulled back and smiled at Eli. “I think you're right… maybe for once I don't label something.’ Eli smiled at him. “That's all I'm saying,’ he said before leaning forward and kissing Chas again. They cut it a little close that day, Eli leaving only twenty minutes before the boys got home. He would have left sooner but when Chas kissed him goodbye he couldn't help but stay the extra ten minutes it took to tear himself away. The last sound he heard as he finally shut the door was Chas' laugh, and as he walked down the hall the smile on his face almost hurt it was so big. It really was a beautiful sound, that laugh. [ previous page ]